From Searching for Direction → Purpose-Anchored Professional

From Sensitive Over-Performer → Grounded, Courageous Challenger

Anca didn’t lack strength.

She lacked permission.

Before joining the program, she was:

• A senior software developer

• Highly capable

• Responsible

• Reliable

• Always delivering

But inside?

She doubted herself constantly.

She second-guessed her instincts.
She questioned her worth.
She absorbed feedback as truth.

And she carried a deep fear of “not being enough.”

The Before: Competent, But Guarded

Anca described herself as:

• Sensitive to criticism

• Quick to defend

• Easily triggered by authority

• Over-responsible

Feedback hit hard.
Especially in tech.
Especially as a woman in engineering.

And when feedback wasn’t skillful, it left scars.

So she armored up.

And armor works,
until it suffocates you.

The Turning Point: “This Feedback Is About You, Not Me.”

One of the biggest shifts for Anca was learning to filter feedback.

Before:
Feedback = Truth about me.

After:
Feedback = Information about the other person.

She learned to ask:

• Is there gold in this?

• Or is this projection?

• Is this about my performance?

• Or about their fear?

That changed her emotional landscape.

She stopped internalizing everything.

She started choosing what to carry.

The Challenger Awakens

Anca is an Enneagram 8, the Challenger.

Before the program:
Her strength looked like confrontation.
Her sensitivity looked like defensiveness.

After the program:
Her strength became grounded assertiveness.
Her sensitivity became clarity.

She didn’t stop challenging.

She learned when and how.

That’s the difference between:
Power as protection
and
Power as leadership.

Courageous Conversations, Completed

Anca didn’t just learn the framework.

She executed it.

And this was big.

Because previously, she would:

• Start the conversation

• Stop halfway

• Retreat

• Or escalate

After the program?

She followed through.

Grounded.
Regulated.
Clear.

Not perfect.

But present.

And that’s leadership.

The Career Leap

Since completing the program, Anca:

• Switched roles

• Moved into data engineering

• Took on bigger responsibilities

• Navigated maternity leave transitions

• Stepped into higher-level environments

The biggest shift?

She stopped waiting for permission.

She stopped asking:
“Am I allowed?”

She started asking:
“Is this aligned?”

The Mother & The Leader

Something else changed.

She became a mother of two.

And leadership suddenly meant more.

It wasn’t about climbing ladders anymore.

It was about:

• Modeling regulation

• Modeling boundaries

• Modeling self-trust

Her children will grow up watching a mother who:

• Reflects before reacting

• Owns her values

• Takes courageous steps

That ripple effect cannot be overstated.

The After: Blossoming

When I asked her what her dragon would say now, she said:

“Blossoming.”

Not conquering.
Not dominating.
Not proving.

Blossoming.

That’s a challenger who has integrated her dragon.

Dragon Insight 🐉

Strength without self-awareness becomes aggression.

Sensitivity without boundaries becomes overwhelm.

When the Challenger learns to pause,
she doesn’t lose power.

She becomes unstoppable.